Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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