i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize