Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize