you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
