allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
