i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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