Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
