i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
