Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize