I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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