Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
