Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
