The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
