You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
