You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
