just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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