do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
