I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
