I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
