She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
