dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
