Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
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