Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize