I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
