First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
