Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
