i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
