I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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