i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
