Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
