i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
