YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
