Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
