I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize