How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I love black thongs
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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