WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I wear drunk well.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
