i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
tonight lets celebrate not being married
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
