white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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