remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
