ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize