you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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