Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Are we still banned from the library?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
