Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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