Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
