the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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