i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I can't put those talents on a resume
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
