im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
