He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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