I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize