cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
