what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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