Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
then he tried to convert me to islam
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
