I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
