When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
