Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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