So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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