garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He did a backflip because drugs
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
