Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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